From: ISN (isn_editor_3@hotmail.com)
Date: Monday, February 15, 1999 03:50 PM


THIS IS INTERSTELLAR NEWS FOR FEBRUARY 14, 2499


MYSTERIOUS VOTEX DISCOVERED IN OMAR GALAXY

OMAR: Scientists have discovered a mysterious vortex in the Omar galaxy. Evidence at the site suggests that several traders have been swallowed up by this phenomena including STARBLADE and THE POLISH BUREAU.





FEDERAL GOVERNMENT COLLAPSING

MANTON PRIME: Rumors out of Manton Prime, confirm that the Federal Government is falling apart. Since the migration to Famine, Federal protection has been limited, indeed has been decreasing with each universe. The lack of a stabilizing Federal Police Force has some calling for law and order to return, at any price. Several of the members of the racial Royal families are calling for a monarchy with their leader as King. Since many of the racial governments and alliances are many times more powerful than the federal government, it is expected that the end of the First Federation is at hand.


REPUBLICANS AND DEMOCRATS AT IT AGAIN

NEW WASHINGTON D.C., EARTH: On the 500th anniversary of the acquittal of President Clinton, Republicans (now known as The Enforcers of the Moral Majority) again blamed the Democrats (now known as The Party of the Oral Majority) for the collapse of the U.S. Government and Constitution in 2009. The Oral Majority Leader claimed that the acquittal of President Clinton has little to do with the collapse of the American Government and blamed the 6,000 ton meteor that impacted in upstate New York in 2009 wiping out much of the Northeast United States including Washington D.C..
Washington D.C., USA, Earth-2009


THE UNFORGIVEN attacked dozens of planets this week in an attempt to locate and destroy strongholds of pirates in several galaxies. More than 2 dozen pirate ships were also destroyed in military operations.
TU Attack Fleet


YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK SPACE MERCHANT IF…

- Have a CB radio in your galactic semi
- Have a space wagon on blocks in your front yard
- Your planetary super freighter has a bumper sticker that says, "I break for road kill".
- Make sure you are in Earth sector for deer season
- Use a chain laser to open your beer
- You have gone fishing with nukes
- Refer to Johnathan Manton as "Bubba"



MERCHANT MILLIONS

We here at ISN are considering starting a weekly lottery for Space Merchants. Available numbers would be 11-66 with a Saturday night drawing paying out 100% of money collected to winners. Tickets will cost $100,000 and may be bought by e-mailing anon account number with ticket cost to ISN with your lucky numbers. Are you interested? Please respond to the poll below.

Space Merchant Lottery
SPACE MERCHANT LOTTERY?

Current Results

HAPPY VALENTINE WISHES

TO: ELVIS FETT: I Love you, you are the greatest!

     

FROM: ELVIS FETT


ISN BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

THE CHURCH OF THE BLESSED NEWBIE


EDITORIAL

We are back. Seems the wet T-shirt volleyball season was shorter than I expected. We need info for stories, real or fictional, jokes or anything else that can take up space so we can continue to write ISN. Please submit your articles to: isn_editor_3@hotmail.com
Please be sure to include your trader name and game if you wish to be identified.
LONG LIVE THE TRADERS!

Editor 3