From: ISN (isn_editor_3@hotmail.com)
Date: Thursday, January 14, 1999 12:18 AM

THIS IS INTERSTARBLADE NEWS FOR JAN 13, 2499

STARBLADE CLEARED OF ILLEGAL TRADING CHARGES

MANTON PRIME: STARBLADE was cleared of all charges of cheating after testifying against his 14 year-old brother, NORAD. NORAD was sentenced to death and was executed several hours after the verdict. Many traders are unimpressed by STARBLADE'S explanation, and protested in front of the Department of Justice Headquarters in Martaville. Several men in black appeared at the protest and warned traders to disperse and go back to clicking banners before "something happened to them". Several Federal Ultimatums we spotted on long-range scanners approaching Manton Prime as traders quickly scrambled for their ships and departed the sector. In related news: Space Merchant Cable News Network is changing its name to The StarBlade Channel.

ISN POLL

ISN POLL

Should StarBlade Be Deleted?

Current Results

WARRIORZ INCREASE ATTACKS

HUMAN SPACE: The WARRIORZ, believed by many to be the renegade alliance KAOS, continue to attack planets amid the confusion caused over the STARBLADE incident and the recent TU-TPB war. While some have also questioned the legitimacy of this "family" alliance, ISN has learned that WARRIORZ have a "special" relationship with Federal Authorities on Manton Prime. Documents obtained by ISN reveal that several of the WARRIORZ were involved in a special Federal operation called "closed beta" and have been pre-cleared of any wrong doing.

WARRIORZ Homeworld

MULTIPLE ATTACKS OR MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES?

ALSKANT: Nearly a dozen traders have been observed killing the same traders repeatedly prior to the new Federal law removing a unarmed trader's ability to attack others. However, to date, no arrests have been made. The new law, made to reduce multiple personality crime, created such a backlog in stellar courts that the Interstellar Server has been experiencing increased errors. Recent attempts to correct the problem have failed. Several traders have reported losing turns while attempting to trade during what is now being unofficially called "Error Storms".

Interstellar Server Complex, Alskant

THIS WEEK IN ALSKANT

The ACLU (Alskant Celestial Liberty Union) was bombed from low orbit today just prior to a press conference by several unidentified ships. Sources close to surviving members of the ACLU reported that the press conference was called to reveal information concerning a plot by federal authorities to squash "any and all activities that prevent those damn banner monkeys from clicking those banners and paying taxes". The remain members of the ACLU have asked The Shadow Syndicate for asylum.

PREDICTIONS: BY JUDY

Space Merchant League Jan 13, 2500: 6,000 traders, 1 IP address.

ASK SPAMBOY

Q: Dear SpamBoy, Do you suggest buying a Planetary Trader or a Merchant vessel?
A: As God as my witness, blessed be our Father, hail Mary full of grace! I went to confession and Jesus told me I was righteous and good and my brother was bad, HELP ME JESUS! HELP ME JESUS! AAARRRGGGGG!!!! If you don't believe me ask the Pope, he knows me and that I would never cheat! What was your question again?

TODAY'S ISN BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

Dominion Domino's Pizza: "Try our New Creonti & Mushroom Pizza"