From: ISN (isn_editor_3@hotmail.com)
Date: Sunday, January 10, 1999 07:32 PM

THIS IS INTERSTELLAR NEWS FOR JAN 10, 2499

THE UNFORGIVEN DECLARES VICTORY

The break up of THE POLIT BUREAU effectively ends DUDEMAN's One Man War. Citing poor leadership, ANANKE denounced TPB and left to look for another home along with several other TPB members. Moral of this story, Web board warriors make poor alliance members.

STELLAR PRIDE RUNS FOR THE COVER OF DARKNESS

After begging most of the top alliances to let him in after the fall of his masters, TPB, STARBLADE bounced around a little before falling in the DARK VORTEX. Reports suggests that the DARK VORTEX was started by a few members of another alliance who stole planets and money from its newbie members and skipped town. This reporter watched late last night as STARBLADE and 3 other STELLAR PRIDERS changed alliances one-by-one like clockwork. We will not report which traders made that late night transition, since it does not seem to be a secret that STARBLADE is "close" to several other traders in his alliance.

Vortex Homeworld

NEW ALLIANCE

ALSKANT: CREEL, disappointed by the inferior quality of all the other alliances, started his own:
THE CREEL ADMIRATION SOCIETY.

FEDERAL ULTIMATUMS SPOTTED

BARBARELLA and LADY OF THE LAKE of the AVALON COALITION were spotted in their new Federal Ultimatums hunting unsuspecting prey. The Interstellar Revenue Service is auditing AVALON tax returns to determine if they claimed all of their income legally. There seems to be some questions of how such a small alliance and traders with nearly no experience can afford not one, but two fully armed FUs.

Interstellar Revenue HQ, Manton Prime

EIGHT PAC FOUR CANS SHORT OF A TWELVE PACK

In a act of shear stupidly, rage or greed, EIGHT PAC continues to commit suicide on ANLA'SHOK planets. Having attacked ANLA'SHOK planets no less than 25 times in the past week, Thevian Blue Cross & Blue Shield is considering canceling his life insurance policy.

Anla'Shok Homeworld

MISSING TRADER FOUND

	HUMAN FEDERAL PROTECTION ZONE: Federal authorities confirmed reports that a West Quad trader was held captive for nearly 36 hours in the cargo bay of a Planetary Super Freighter. It seems that the trader landed is Alskant Speed Demon in the loading zone at the port in sector 255 and was loading into the Planetary Super Freighter by accident.
Federal HQ Station in Human Galaxy

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2003 President Elizabeth Dole was impeached by the House of Representatives of the United States of America for lying about her age.
2005 President George Bush Jr. was impeached by the House of Representatives for removing the tag from his pillow.
2009 Ex-President G. Bush Jr. wins re-election as Governor of Texas and declares war on Louisiana. No one complains until the Cajun Chicken McNuggets supply starts to run low.

ASK SPAMBOY

Q: How did you get so much experience?
A: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY? I AM NOT NONAD! AAARRRRGGGGG!!!!

Note: SPAMBOY and NONAD are characters created by ISN and are not meant to represent persons in the Space Merchant universe. Any similarity to persons living, deceased or existing in multiple personality form in cyberspace, is purely coincidental?

IN OTHER NEWS

1/3/99 2:28:32 AM Hillsfar II killed Time in sector #962 J

JOKE

Q: What is the most common number of multiple personalities?
A: 5, if he doesn't want to be too obvious.
- One to scout
- One to trade
- One to fight
- One to be killed
- And one to be called a cheater.